1. New Orleans (5-0)

Last week: 3^rd.

There’s a New order after New Orleans blew out New York. Sure would be nice to see Drew Brees & the Saints win the Super Bowl (if Matt Hasselbeck & the Seahawks can’t, of course.)

 

2.  Indianapolis (5-0)

Last week: 2^nd.

Peyton’s playing so well even Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher is a fan now.

 

3.  Minnesota (6-0)

Last week: 4^th.

The Vikings play in Pittsburgh this week, but Chilly had better make sure Favre’s head isn’t in Green Bay a week too early.

4. N.Y. Giants (5-1)

Last week: 1^st.

Combined record of Giants’ defeated foes: 8-20. Score of loss to undefeated Saints: 48-27. Maybe we (and everyone else) had the Giants a bit too high.

5. Denver (6-0)

Last week: 8^th.

We owe the Broncos a Royal (as in Eddie) apology after saying they would be .500 following games against Dallas, New England and San Diego.

 

6. New England (4-2)

Last week: 9^th.

Brady won the Pick 6, picking on the Titans’ tertiary (they had no secondary) for six touchdowns. 

7. Atlanta (4-1)

Last week: 7^th.

Good thing the Falcons play in Dallas this week; it will prevent them from looking forward to next Monday, when they play the Saints in one of the biggest games of the season to date.

8. Cincinnati (4-2)

Last week: 7^th.

The Texans held Benson down, but we doubt the Bears will. He’s just the ex-Bear Chicago has to cross.

 

9. Baltimore (3-3)

Last week: 10^th.

The Ravens probably wish they could have bottled up about 30 points from their 34-3 win over Cleveland in Week 3. They could have used them in their three straight losses, which have come by a combined 11 points.

 

10. Green Bay (3-2)

Last week: 12^th.

Aaron Rodgers had his usual big-stat line: 300 yards passing … and five sacks. He’d probably trade a bunch of those yards to stay standing.

11.  Chicago (3-2)

Last week: 8^th.

Baby Jay got a raise in his allowance, even after he pouted his way through his post-game media conference Sunday.

12.  Pittsburgh (4-2)

Last week: 14^th.

When Ben’s throwing for 400 yards, who cares who the Steelers’ running back is?

13. N.Y. Jets (3-3)

Last week: 5^th.

Thomas Jones apparently was inspired by the run-happy Dolphins, but his team-record 210-yard rushing day was ruined by Off-the-Mark Sanchez’s five picks.   

14. San Diego (2-3)

Last week: 15^th.

Without their middle men, the Chargers have been stuck on the wrong end of the score the last two weeks.

15.  San Francisco (3-2)

Last week: 16^th.

Looks like the Crab is coming out of his shell this week.

16. Dallas (3-2)

Last week: 17^th.

There’s no town in Texas named Crayton, so it only figures that Austin should be starting.

17.  Arizona (3-2)

Last week: 19^th.

Warner & Co. have to be licking their chops after seeing what Drew Brees and his boys did against the Giants.

18. Houston (3-3)

Last week: 21^st.

The Texans finally got a quality win – and on the road nonetheless. So they’re right on pace for their usual 8-8 finish.

19. Philadelphia (3-2)

Last week: 6^th.

Lots of people were bumped from their Survivor pools after that horrible loss in Oakland. And now the Eagles face the Redskins in what is guaranteed to be the first MNF stinker of the year.

20. Seattle (2-4)

Last week: 18^th.

A 65-point swing from Week 5 to Week 6? The Hawks aren’t as good as their 41-0 win over Jacksonville, and they aren’t as bad as their 27-3 loss to Arizona. They have a bye week to figure out how good or bad they want to be.

21.  Jacksonville (3-3)

Last week: 20^th.

Jack Del Rio says his team is treading water, but it sure looks like they’re sinking just a little slower than Tennessee’s Titanic.

22.  Miami (2-3)

Last week: 23^rd.

Bill Parcells and Tony Sparano weren’t in Miami in 2006, but they’re about to find out what they missed out on. His name is Drew Brees.

23. Carolina (2-3)

Last week: 23^rd.

Steve Smith says he’s no longer a team “asset.” Hard to argue. But the first three letters still fit him to a T. 

24. Buffalo (2-4)

Last week: 27^th.

Formula for a Bills win: Fire all offensive assistants, lose QB to injury and give up 200 yards rushing.

25. Oakland (2-4)

Last week: 29^th.

“We’re going to be in the playoffs.” Huh? Richard Seymour apparently forgot he no longer plays for the Patriots.

26. Detroit (1-5)

Last week: 25^th.

You’d get shut out, too, if you were playing your third-team quarterback.

27. Cleveland (1-5)

Last week: 30^th.

Yeah, Brady Quinn is still in Cleveland for now. But he won’t be in April.

28. Kansas City (1-5)

Last week: 31^st.

Just about everyone saw that win over the Redskins coming. And now back to your regularly scheduled losing.

 

29. Washington (2-4)

Last week: 26^th.

So let’s get this straight: Daniel Snyder hired Jim Zorn to be his offensive coordinator, then gave him the coaching gig and now he’s taking away the duties he first hired him to perform and giving them to a guy who has been with the team for less than two weeks? If we didn’t know any better, we’d think this team were run by an 80-year-old, Bingo-playing man named Al.

30. Tennessee (0-6)

Last week: 24^th.

Hey, who can blame Jeff Fisher for just wanting “to feel like a winner”? Maybe if Bud Adams would fire him, he could go somewhere where he might have a chance to be one again.

31. Tampa Bay (0-6)

Last week: 28^th.

The big question: Are the Glazers going to be in London with the B (as in Buc) team or in Moscow with the A (as in Man U) team this weekend?

32. St. Louis (0-6)

Last week: 32^nd.

It’s pretty obvious why the Rams traded Will Witherspoon: Their rebuilding plan calls for no W’s.

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