I spent my formative years in Richmond, Va., a minor league town with occasional big-league aspirations. One of the few decent things we had was the Richmond Braves, the Triple-A affiliate of the Atlanta team. During summers, we got to see plenty of top-notch talent come through town, and the franchise carried a modicum of class.

Well, the Braves got squired away a few years back due to a decrepit stadium. Recently, Richmond conspired to steal a Double-A team away from Connecticut with the promise of building them a new stadium (pipe dream) at some undetermined time.

This week, the winner of the name-the-team contest was announced. Are you sitting down? The victorious entry was the Richmond Flying Squirrels. Yes, you read that correctly.

I lived in Richmond for many years and have never laid eyes on a flying squirrel. Flying Cockroaches would have been a more appropriate moniker. And what’s worse is that the other finalists were just as bad: Flatheads, Rhinos, Rock Hoppers and Hush Puppies (!) were among the other terrible options the people of Richmond had to choose from.

Now look, I understand that a major component of minor league baseball is merchandising, but it seems like the goal with naming teams these days is less about reflecting the region or sport and more about creating a dumb-ass mascot.

And so, the Flying Squirrels join the all-time dumb name list with the likes of the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs (named after an Iron Maiden song), Modesto Nuts, Fort Wayne TinCaps, Midland RockHounds and Montgomery Biscuits.

Richmond may be hamstrung a bit due to its historical background, taking a name like Generals out of the running. One of the original finalists, Hambones, was removed not because of its stupidity but because the NAACP complained about it.

I’m not alone in my dismay over this name. You know things are bad when the team VP, Scott Parnell, has to issue some bogus statement in response to fan complaints over the finalists. Check out this Grade-A double talk:

“I think it’s awesome, to know that the people of Richmond care so much,” he said in a phone conversation Wednesday afternoon. “We will never shy away from getting people to talk, and having an opinion, so we haven’t taken offense. Whether people are saying things that are good or bad, it’s all good because they are talking about Richmond baseball as a family again. And, at the end of the day, who’s going to turn away from fun?”

Wha? Even the guy who entered the winning name seemed to be a touch embarrassed and didn’t show up to the ceremony, sending his mother and stepfather in his stead to claim the prize of two lifetime tickets.

Congratulations, Richmond! You are now at the top of a very prestigious list – dumbest name in all of team sports.