Boxer Bernard Hopkins apparently doesn’t like Donovan McNabb because the quarterback didn’t kiss his ass when Hopkins visited the Eagles.

Hopkins reportedly called McNabb a “lapdog” and said the Eagles should sign Michael Vick. Shocking that a fighter nicknamed the Executioner would prefer a QB who was sent to prison for murdering dogs.

So add Hopkins to the list of McNabb haters, which includes Rush Limbaugh and Terrell Owens.

Boy, if we were Donovan, we’d really be upset to hear we weren’t liked by a professional thug; a racist, drug-addicted, conservative blowhard; and an emotionally retarded, narcissistic wide receiver who has alienated every team he has played for.

Speaking of Owens … He was the subject of an expletive-laced tirade by supermodel Joanna Krupa for not helping her win in ABC’s “The Superstars” competition Monday.

People were stunned to see Owens get the verbal bitch-slapping he has often unleashed on his own quarterbacks. And even more stunned that he had no response.

The difference: When he was ripping his own quarterbacks, he knew they would still throw him the ball. With Krupa, he knew there was no chance at all he would ever score.

Then he held a going-away shindig in Dallas that was to include former Cowboys teammates (although probably not Tony Romo and Jason Witten) and some NBA players. The event was billed as “classy & sexy only.” We’re certain the curvy Krupa was disqualified for lack of (expletive deleted) class.

Speaking of the Cowboys … Linemen Marc Colombo, Cory Procter and Leonard Davis belong to a heavy-metal band called “Free Reign.” Wonder where they got that name? Any ideas, Terrell? Or how about you, Wade Phillips?

Speaking of reigning … Phil Jackson, who has had both hips replaced in recent years, will decide next month whether to return to the Lakers. If the 10-time NBA champion does call it quits, you know what the reaction from the rest of the NBA will be: “Hip, hip, hooray!”

Speaking of Los Angeles … Former Rams star Eric Dickerson says L.A. doesn’t deserve an NFL team because the city’s folk won’t support it. He said L.A. is a fair-weather sports town: “When the Lakers are winning, it’s crowded. But when the Lakers are losing, you could roll a stick of dynamite in there and blow up nothing but the floor.”

Well, next season, LeBron James’ Cavaliers plan to blow up the place themselves with a big cannonball named Shaq.

Speaking of explosive … The Mariners’ Franklin Gutierrez hit four home runs in six games against San Diego this month. If he were any kind of trash talker, he might have hollered to the San Diego clubhouse, “Hey Padres, who’s your daddy?!”

Speaking of father and son … Michael Jordan’s kid, Jeff, is leaving the Illinois basketball team to focus on academics. Makes sense. After all, Michael once quit basketball to get schooled in baseball.

Speaking of slow learners … Lions owner William Clay Ford on why he waited eight games to fire GM Matt Millen last season: “You don’t want to jump ship after two games or one game.” Jump ship? Mr. Ford, your ship has been at the bottom of the NFL’s ocean for years.

Speaking of NFL bottomdwellers … The Raiders are sponsoring an AirAsia plane called Xcellence. It’s the best threat they’ve had to go the distance since James Jett used to fly downfield for them. Of course, if the plane is anything like the team that sponsors it, it’ll probably crash and burn by the end of October.

Speaking of raiders … Lee Crider of Sacramento faces three years in prison for stealing one of Lance Armstrong’s bicycles after a race in February. Guess it was only apropos that the two-wheeler Mr. Rider, er, Crider, stole was a “time-trial” bike, because Lee might be doin’ a lot of time after his trial.

Speaking of guys wearing stripes … Wayward tackle Andre Smith, the Bengals’ first-round draft pick, recently got lost driving to a camp for young linemen. It’s a bad omen for Smith’s on-time arrival to his first pro camp. And, considering Smith’s poor sense of direction, we sure hope the Bengals don’t plan to make him a pulling guard.

Speaking of going in the wrong direction … If you can’t beat him, join him … on a fishing trip to Alaska. That’s what Minnesota coach Brad Childress did with Andy Reid, whose Eagles beat the Vikings 26-14 in the first round of the playoffs last season. Our money’s on Childress coming back with the bigger catch – a filet of Favre.

Speaking of Favre … Jets fans have to hope their excitable new coach, Rex Ryan, never leads their famous (but very stupid) cheer. It would turn them back into a laughingstock to hear the dyslexic Ryan chanting, “J-E-S-T! Jest! Jest! Jest!”